1 Timothy 2:9-10 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves with modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”

I am very aware that to talk about “modesty” places one in danger of not only losing their audience but also of being viewed as incredibly old-fashioned and out of date!  Still, I believe that modesty matters and I wanted to challenge all of us to think about it.

Many just relegate modesty to an “issue of the heart.”  As a result, they don’t really have to deal with it!  We just assume that a person has a good heart and leave it at that.  However, if God’s Word is literally true (and it is), then this is far more than just a matter of the heart – dress matters as an issue of both modesty and distinction.  

My guess is that most have at least some sort of position on this matter.  Wouldn’t most churches draw the line somewhere?  Would we allow a singer to wear “booty” shorts on our platforms? Would we be okay with a plunging neckline that reveals more than just a little? I would assume so, although, practically speaking, perhaps some don’t.  Some dads don’t seem to care much at all what their daughter wears – at least not enough to insist on change.  Just look through photos of what many wear to proms and Christian School banquets.  Their dresses (and poses) are man-cave-poster-material-type stuff.  I know that seems harsh, but I don’t mean for it to be.  I am simply trying to point out that many no longer seem to care about modesty!  It is an issue that we have, for the most part, chosen not to handle in our generation.

You can see a similar “don’t care” attitude at many Christian weddings. Here again, our culture’s views have certainly infiltrated and lead the church more than the Bible’s views!  My point is simply this:  modesty matters.  So I challenge all of us to emphasize it more than we do.

May I gently suggest that if modesty is relegated to nothing more than a heart matter, then modesty means nothing at all.  In other words, if Scripture isn’t applied in “real-life ways,” then we are not just failing to apply the Bible to our lives, we are also failing to live Christianity in a world that so desperately needs it. 

So what can we do in this increasingly immoral culture of ours? Here are three suggestions:

Start by thinking about it.  

We don’t need to run to our pulpits and shout at people. We don’t need to shame anyone. We simply need to think, and encourage others to do the same.  It may be that many (in our movement, at least) have stopped dealing with it because of the extreme ways some have handled it. If one’s method of handling it is to shout about “heifers in britches” no one is helped.  Ridicule and slander have done a ton of damage. Asking people to leave a church because one’s 2 year old wore “pants” damages rather than helps.  I am just suggesting that we all stop and think about it.  Our culture is a mess.  Our world will not accept God’s Word.  However, we are Bible-believers and we must continually think through God’s Word and apply it to our lives.  So, think about it!

God did make us male and female (cf. Genesis 1-3).  We have to be clear about that while simultaneously being appropriate and modest.  Form fitting clothing can certainly reveal whether we are male or female, but it also reveals immodesty.  Again, we have to think.  Here are some questions we could consider:

1. Does this unwisely or inappropriately reveal my private body parts?
2. Does this reveal that my body belongs only to God and to my spouse?
3. Does this evidence that my heart is a Godly one that is seeking to live soberly, righteously and godly in this world (cf. Titus 2:11-12)?

Our applications can certainly vary, but all of us should at least think about modesty.

Be willing to make changes.

Perhaps this is harder than it sounds. Our generation has become increasingly comfortable with what previous generations would have considered horribly wicked.  Now I get it. At one time men wore ties to play golf.  That is not at all the sort of thing to which I am referring. At one time ladies wore lace gloves just to go to a department store.  I am not referring to that either.  I am simply writing about the culture we now have.  Nakedness is normal in our culture but is still wrong to those of us who search the Scriptures and apply them to our lives.  Immodesty is still condemned by those same Scriptures.  Commercials abound that draw attention to our bodies in a sensual and sexual way. We are a culture of immorality.  Is it normal in the culture? Yes, yes it is.  Is it wrong according to the Bible?  Yes, yes it is.

So be willing to make changes.  Here are some questions we could consider:

1. Are my outfits too tight, too short, too low, or too revealing?
2. Could I do a better job of dressing in such a way that it draws less attention to me and my body and more attention to my Godliness and my Christianity?

Again, our applications can vary, but all of us should be willing to make changes and apply God’s Word to this area of our lives.

Finally, emphasize it.  

This is also a hard one.  For the church, very few pastors and ministry leaders want to deal with this part of our culture. We are increasingly silent regarding this matter. We are acceptable of all kinds of immodesty and are defensive of all kinds as well.  However, unless we at least get people thinking about the truths of God’s Word regarding our bodies, our gender, and our dress, many will very likely do wrong – oftentimes with a wrong spirit as well!  For parents, this is especially difficult.  The culture around us is not on our side. Many churches offer little or no support to a family that is trying to apply God’s Word in this area.  For those of us who want our family to honor God in the greatest way possible, we often have to do it alone.  We have to teach our children to be wise and to be “thinking” even if no one else is. We have to be prepared to be the “odd man out.”  

Our family desires to honor God in this area.  As we do so, we always seek to honor those who do it differently from us. We are less strict than some and far more strict than others.  I know we can see things differently, but I also know that many of us can do things far better than we are.  Bethlie and I are continually teaching our daughter about these matters. Our desire is that she will know the Bible, apply it, and live it in her own life (in every way possible).  We work hard to be modes and at the same time we make every effort to help our children to look really nice. If need be, we are willing to spend extra money on clothes that help us to honor what the Bible teaches and yet allows our daughter to feel confident and comfortable and beautiful.  We are also willing to embrace culture where we can do so without undermining God’s Word!  None of us have to look like we are just trying to be dated and old-fashioned!  We don’t have to look like a museum photograph. We can honor God, live the Bible, and be beautifully Biblical at the same time.  

I believe that we can and should do better.  We can have liberty and yet teach modesty. We can give grace and yet emphasize modesty.  We can teach it, and yet not be angry, condescending, and foolish while doing so. We can present Bible truth, and yet allow for various applications.  We can be modest if we choose to do so. 

Does that make sense?  I hope so.

Feel free to leave a comment or a question below.  I would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading.

Your sincere friend,

Dave Young