Ephesians 5:26-27

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil.

Anger is one of those matters that is discussed frequently in the Scriptures.  Solomon warns about anger in statements like these: 

Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go.  We are not to become friends with an angry man; we are not to “go” with an angry man.  

Proverbs 14:17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly.  All of us have seen a quick-tempered man act foolishly.

Proverbs 14:29. He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding:  but he that is hasty of spirit exalts folly. A man who doesn’t allow his emotions to lead him astray is a wise man.

Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city.

Bethlie and I have frequently witnessed the damage that can be done through uncontrolled emotions.  Anger will divide.  Anger will separate.  Anger destroys marriages, friendships, and influence.  Anger flows from our sin nature and never from the Spirit.  It leaves us damaged and simultaneously damages those around us.  What can we do about anger?  Ephesians 4 helps us to answer that question.

1. Confess it as sin.  The point of the passage in Ephesians 4 is to make things right. Put off the old man.  He is corrupt.  Put on the new one. Let God create him in righteousness and true holiness.  Anger is just an emotion and emotions are not wrong.  However, emotions that lead us to sin are very wrong and need to be confessed.  All of us can start there.  
2. Put on the “new man” and “sin not” (cf. Ephesians 4:24).  When our emotions are taking over, we should ask the Spirit of God to help us to speak softly, or not to speak at all.  Victory over our emotions is a spiritual matter, not a “strong” matter.  God is the one who can help us to have victory. So seek Him about that.
3. Confront it as the sin it is and take care of it as soon as possible. When our emotions take over and damage has been done, the best way to respond is to humble ourselves and deal with it immediately.  “Let not the sun go down on your wrath” is more than just a nice saying.  It is a pathway to healing.  The sooner we admit we were wrong and the sooner we humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness, the better our chances of seeing healing – both in our own heart and in the hearts of those we have damaged. If months have passed (or even years), the right way to handle a wrong is through humble repentance, humble confession, and humble restoration.  Ask God to help with all three.  Have a prayer meeting. Schedule a meeting with the offended parties.  Be honest.  Admit your wrong.  Ask for forgiveness.  Our experience has been that healing often begins immediately.  One thing is very certain:  God begins his work of creating in us a new man in righteousness and true holiness. It all starts with honesty and humility.

What is the alternative if we choose to hold onto our anger rather than put it off?  We open the door (give place) to the devil (v. 27).  His goal is to “divide and conquer” and anger is one of the weapons he uses to accomplish his goal.  He delights in separating husbands and wives; parents and children; sons and daughters.  He takes great joy in dividing a church family and damaging the kingdom of God.  However, when we allow the Holy Spirit to control our emotions and our words, he is defeated and victory is ours.  

May God help all of us to handle anger correctly.  After all, the wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God (James 1:20). 

What are your thoughts? How have you overcome the damage done by anger? How have you seen others overcome it? I would love to hear your stories in the comments below.

Thanks for reading,

Dave Young

Pastor/Evangelist