Seven Days to a Better Marriage (Day Four)

A few days ago I introduced this series of articles. You can read the introduction here.


Read Ephesians 5:15-33

No study of marriage can be complete without a study of the word love.  “Husbands, love your wives” is the most basic command God gives to men in the marriage relationship.  The lessons here are some of the most important ones in the world. 

Consider that a husband’s love is to be a sacrificial love.  “Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.  It is something he demonstrates to his wife, just as Christ demonstrated his love for us. He will give up his rights to do so.

His love is to be a spiritual love.  It demands holiness in his heart and life.  It demands leadership if he is to help his wife to become “holy and without blemish” (v. 27) herself. He will pray with his wife. He will attend church with her. He will answer her questions and help her with her needs. He will be aware of her weaknesses and will stand by her and do all that he can to help her to overcome them. He will know her strengths and will do everything he can to help her to flourish in them.

His love is to be practical.  He is to “nourish” her (v. 29).  This word means “to take care of.”  A husband is to take care of his wife.  He is to know her needs and meet them.  He is to provide for her.  He is to study her and understand her so that he can know how to best show his love to her.  He should know her favorite things and activities and foods and use them as a means to reveal his love.

His love is also to be affectionate.  Verse 29 also uses the word “cherisheth.”  This word means to show affection or tenderness and is a vital part of a husbands responsibility toward his wife.  He is to tell her he loves her and treat her gently and lovingly. He is to act tenderly and kindly towards her.  He should touch her non-sexually.  He should talk to her and listen to her talk.  He should treat her like a lady, tell her how much he loves her, and take time for her.  He should also be aware of those things that destroy affection.  Busyness, weariness, entertainment, and a host of other things can all sneak into a marriage and destroy affection.

Finally, his love for her is to be a priority.  Couples are to grow so closely together that they are one, according to verse thirty one.  Think of Adam and Eve and Joseph and Mary and Acquila and Priscilla.  When a husband makes loving his wife a major priority,  it will put them on the road to having an incredibly blessed, and satisfying, and happy marriage.

Husbands, let’s do an evaluation:

  1. Do I love my wife sacrificially?  What have I given up for her?
  2. Do I love my wife spiritually?  Am I investing in her spiritually and helping her to    become everything God would have her to be as a woman?
  3. Do I love my wife practically?  Am I aware of her needs am I meeting them?
  4. Do I love my wife affectionately?  Am I gentle?  Do I tell her that I love her?
  5. Is loving my wife a priority?

What do you think? How important is love in a marriage relationship?

Thanks for reading.

Your sincere friend,

Dave Young

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