Seven Days to a Better Marriage (Day One)

Yesterday I introduced this series of articles. You can read the introduction Seven Days to a Better Marriage here.

Let’s get started by evaluating our own spiritual maturity.


In the book of Ephesians, Paul repeatedly addresses the Ephesians church in relation to their spiritual maturity.  As he often does, he spends the early chapters in more of a doctrinal discussion.  The Ephesian believers are blessed (1:3), chosen to be holy and without blame (1:4), predestinated to adoption in God’s family (1:5), redeemed and forgiven (1:7), and sealed eternally with the Holy Spirit Himself (1:13-14).  He writes three very powerful chapters about their position of salvation and favor and blessing and power.  Once he establishes these matters, he then reminds them to walk worthy of their vocation (4:1), to walk differently from the unsaved world (4:17), to put off the “old man” and put on the “new man” (4:22-24), and to follow God (5:1).  In other words, he is writing to tell the Ephesian believers that they needed spiritual maturity in their lives. 

Any man and any woman can love each other, be loyal to each other, and make a marriage work.  God, however, is interested in you having a Christian marriage.  It requires spiritual maturity for your marriage to be everything God wants it to be.  So, before you work on your marriage you should work on your own Christianity.  You should walk circumspectly and wisely, not as a fool (5:15).  You should wisely understand God’s will and do it (5:17).  You should be filled with the Spirit (5:18).

So, how are you doing spiritually?  Are you a devout Christian?  Read Ephesians 4:25 – 5:4!  Are you honest?  Do you minister grace when you speak?  Are you bitter and angry?  Are you kind and tenderhearted?  Men and women who never read their Bible,  who never pray, who seldom walk with God will not have the Christian home they can have and should have.  Are you angry?  Do you scowl?  Do you fuss and bite with your words?  Are you struggling in purity matters?    Ephesians 5:3 says that matters of fornication and uncleanness should  never be in our lives, not even one time.  So how are you doing?  

If you want to have a better marriage, start with your own spiritual life.  Decide that you will begin every day by reading some in God’s Word.  Determine to spend some time each day in prayer.  Ask God to help you in areas where you know you are not Christlike.  If it is your tongue, confess it as sin and ask those around you to forgive you.  If you are filled with lust (improper sexual thoughts) or lewdness (preoccupation with sexuality), ask God to change you.  He can and He will if you get serious about it.  

Your spiritual maturity is essential to having a better marriage.  Notice, men, that you are to be like Jesus Christ.  Notice, ladies, that you are to be like the church.  These are weighty examples and should reveal to us that we need to be everything we can be spiritually.  So, take the evaluation below and lets see how we are doing.

  1. Do I walk with God or do I seldom even think about that?
  2. Do I read my Bible regularly or not at all?
  3. Do I have a prayer life or do I seldom pray?
  4. Am I honest or do I lie and steal?
  5. Am I edifying and encouraging in the way I speak or do I tear down?
  6. Am I loving and gentle or sarcastic and harsh?
  7. Am I kind or angry and bitter?
  8. Am I pure or do I struggle with fornication, uncleanness, or filthiness?
  9. Am I faithful to church or do I allow other things to take the place of church?
  10. 10. Would my spouse say that I am a spiritual person or would they hesitate to answer the question?
  11.   Am I known as a Godly, Christlike person, or am I known simply as a churchgoing person?

Your spiritual life is essential if your marriage is going to be right!

Thanks for reading.

Your sincere friend,

Dave Young

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