Seven Days to a Better Marriage (Day Two)

A few days ago I introduced this series of articles. You can read the introduction here.

Today let’s talk about the help we need to accomplish the task before us!


Read Ephesians 5:15-33

The Doctrine of the Holy Spirit is an on-going part of the book of Ephesians.  He seals the believer (1:13); He makes us the habitation of God (2:22); He reveals truths to us (3:5); He strengthens us with might by His Spirit (3:16); He can be grieved (4:30); and He produces goodness, righteousness, and truth in our lives (5:9).  We are commanded not to grieve Him (4:30) but rather to be “filled” with Him (5:18).  Note that the latter command is listed immediately prior to Paul’s instructions concerning our marriages.

Why would Paul list this “be filled with the Spirit” command just prior to instructing us concerning our marriages? Is there a significance to this matter?  There certainly is.  One thing all of us should know rather quickly is that we are not able to have this Ephesians 5 kind of marriage on our own.  We are not wise enough, educated enough, old enough, or wealthy enough to accomplish the task God places before us in these verses.  Love my wife as Christ loved the Church?  Submit to my husband as the church submits to Christ?  Lead my wife into Christlikeness?  Reverence my husband?  There is no doubt that the task here is beyond human ability.  So, God reminds us that we have the Holy Spirit indwelling us.  God lives in us!  His power and ability indwell us!  The command here is for us to allow Him to rule in our lives.  His ability and power are what each of us need if we are going to attain to this kind of marriage.

Now here is the good news!  His power and ability are not only what we need,  they are readily available.  Consider these truths.  Being Spirit-filled is not automatic.  Although the Spirit lives in me, I must decide whether or not to allow Him to rule in my life.  I have to consciously seek His power and strength and direction.  As certainly as a man can only be drunk if he chooses to drink, we can only be Spirit-filled if we choose to be.  Being Spirit-filled is commanded.  Whatever it means, God commands you to “be” it.  I would pray like this:  “God, help me to be filled with the Spirit so I can be what I need to be in my marriage.”  Finally, being Spirit-filled is one of the keys to having a better marriage.  We need His strength.  We need His wisdom.  We need His direction.  For instance, if you struggle with your temper, ask Him to empower you to have victory over that temper.  If you struggle with your purity, ask Him for His purity in your life.  If you and your wife are struggling, ask Him for His wisdom.  Being filled means allowing Him to take over.  It means allowing Him to rule.  It means seeking His guidance so you can be what you ought to be in your marriage.  Aren’t you glad that you don’t have to go it alone?  God is offering His help!

So let’s do another evaluation and see how we are doing?

  1. Are you Spirit-filled?
  2. Have you asked the Spirit to fill you?
  3. Do you sense that you need His help?
  4. Are you willing to call on Him for His help?
  5. Are there any areas of sin in your life that would hinder His filling you?

Thanks for reading.

Your sincere friend,

Dave Young

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