Seven Days to a Better Marriage (Day Six)

A few days ago I introduced this series of articles. You can read the introduction here.


Read Ephesians 5:15-33

Key verse: 31

The subject of intimacy is yet another vital matter in a marriage relationship.  It includes everything from closeness to loyalty to romance to sexuality!  It is incredible important and yet often overlooked.  This important verse thirty one teaches that a man and his wife are to be “joined” together.  The word means to “glue to, to join one’s self closely to, to cleave to, to stick to.”  

Intimacy, to some people, is the same as sexuality.  However, for the believer, it is far more than that.  It is “becoming one” emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and physically. 

Emotional intimacy is attained when a wife senses that her husband loves her as Christ loves the church and when a husband senses that his wife submits to him because she reverences him as her lover and her leader!  God designed men to respond to submission and reverence.  He designed women to respond to a loving leader.  

Spiritual intimacy is attained when two married believers recognize that they are “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7) and as a result choose to “serve the Lord with gladness” (Psalm 100:2).  When a husband and wife see their roles as something blessed by God, it enhances their spiritual life both personally and collectively.  Husbands should accept their role as something spiritual.  They should seek God’s word and spend time in prayer asking God for His wisdom and direction in their marriage and home.  In doing so, a husband will not only be a mighty man of God but also a wonderful husband!  Likewise, a wife should accept her role as something spiritual and seeks God’s word and spends time in prayer asking God for His wisdom and direction in her life, marriage, and home.  In doing so, she too will be changed.  She will be a beautifully Godly lady and a wonderful wife as well.

Relational intimacy is simply the close friendship that God intends to be true in any marriage.  When God made Adam in the Garden of Eden, God recognized that Adam was lonely and needed a helpmeet.  So God made a wife for him!  Just like God works in our hearts and lives to draw us close to Him, He intends for a couple to always work together to be best friends.  Spending time together, showing loyalty to each other,  and sticking together in all the circumstances and situations that life brings our way are a few of the ways that couples grow in their friendship with one another.  Complimenting and encouraging are other ways.  And the list goes on and on!

Physical intimacy is another vitally important area necessary for a couple to become one.  In a world that is bombarded with wickedness concerning human sexuality, it is essential that Christian couple’s think Biblically and purely in this area.  Remember that human sexuality was designed by God in creation.  Remember that He designed it to be enjoyed by couples.  Remember that in a marriage relationship the “bed is undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4).  Remember that before God told Adam and Eve about the food they were to eat in the garden, he told them to be fruitful.  He mentions their sexual relationship before mentioning their food!  It is essential that a couple practice purity.  Pornography, adultery, and fornication will destroy intimacy every single time!  It is essential that a couple practice romance.  Dating, writing love letters, and flirting with each other enhances intimacy every single time.  It is also essential that a couple maintains a healthy “love life.”  Make love often.  Make it special.  Make it romantic.  Find complete satisfaction in each other and in nothing else.  Be concerned about each other’s needs and meet them lovingly, tenderly, and gently!

So, how are you doing?  Let’s make an evaluation and find out!

  1. Husbands, are you loving your wife in such a way that her emotional needs are met?
  2. Wives, are you reverencing your husband in such a way that his emotional needs are met?
  3. Are both of you praying and seeking God concerning being the best spouse you can be?
  4. Are you best friends?
  5. If not, what is hindering you from being best friends?
  6. Do you go on dates, write love letters, and flirt with each other?
  7. Are you pure so that there is nothing that perverts your physical intimacy?
  8. Do you make love often?
  9. Are you more focused on your needs or on hers?
  10. Are you completely satisfied with your spouse?
  11. Is your spouse completely satisfied with you?

Intimacy is a powerful part of a good marriage!  Don’t allow this part to die.

Thanks for reading this week.  You all are awesome.

Your sincere friend,

Dave Young

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